10/09/2013

Restriction and Eroticism in The Norwegian Wood


A renowned philosopher Georges Bataille defined eroticism as sexual possessiveness that originates from one’s desire to violate taboos. According to his theory, social restrictions and rules are what make people want to break them even more. Eroticism is neither love itself nor the opposite of love; rather, it is simply a different concept that can only exist when there are restrictions. Since he preconditioned that animals do not have any taboos in their world, this trait of eroticism can be said to only exist in human beings, something that differentiates humans from animals. Indeed, the relationship between Toru and Naoko in The Norwegian Wood can be interpreted by Bataille’s eroticism.


Naoko and Toru first get to know each other through their mutual friend Kizuki. As Kizuki’s only friend, Toru is introduced to Kizuki’s girlfriend Naoko. Though the relationship between Naoko and Toru in high school is not well depicted in detail, except that they used to hang out in three or double-date with Naoko’s friend, they suddenly develop strange feelings for each other after Kizuki’s death. Understanding their story in Bataille’s perspective, it is Kizuki’s death that exists as the biggest restriction. Although they do not state it in words, dating dead friend’s girlfriend or dead boyfriend’s best friend is often not accepted by the society. This unspoken rule seems to turn their relationship more desperately erotic.


Whenever Naoko finds herself in love with Toru, she gets extremely confused. During her sex with Toru, she suddenly begins wailing loudly when Toru asks about her sexual relationship with Kizuki. With the confusion probably resulting from her sense of guilt, she even secludes herself in Ami Hostel after that incident. The more guilt restricts her, however, the more she becomes dependent on Toru, making him assure that he will stay and wait for her forever. Nevertheless she again feels bewildered about the relationship and suffers. Guilt is what boosts her orgasm during her sexual intercourse with Toru, which she describes as “the best feeling of being violated,” but that pleasure is what makes her even guiltier. The eroticism that comes from social taboos and her guilt results in both pleasure and confusion.

While feeble Naoko feels ashamed about herself, Toru is extremely obsessed with Naoko. Through his narration, he keeps excusing himself that his attention and care for Naoko have started because she is his best friend Kizuki’s girlfriend. Yes, it may be true, but in a different sense from what he is trying to justify: he likes Naoko not because she is someone whom he has to protect due to his friendship with his best friend, but because she is someone that he is not supposed to have due to his best friend’s death. As the same for Naoko, this restriction turns Toru more desperate and their relationship more erotic. Although he finds a girl named Midori who evidently likes him, unlike Naoko who becomes repentant and insecure too often, he directly states that he “still [loves] Naoko.” Guilt and eroticism are again what make Toru keep his feeling for Naoko, perhaps even more day by day.

In a nutshell, the relationship between Toru and Naoko is based on eroticism deriving from the desire to violate social taboos and guilt. It is definitely not some pure, innocent love that people expect in imagination. But at the same time, eroticism is the most “natural human” thing because it is strictly a “human” habit, as Bataille argues. Judging whether their feeling is “love” or “not” is something that depends on who looks at it.

 “I still loved Naoko. Bent and twisted as that love might be, I did love her.”



8/28/2013

Norwegian Wood (1st Reading Journal_ Ch.1-3)





             Though I only read the first three chapters of a book with eleven chapters, I already fell in love with its tone. The personal voice of the narrator is cynical, yet honest and descriptive. The narrator seems to tell the audience what actually happened and how he really felt at the time. This authentic tone helped me sympathize more easily with him in various situations. Moreover, he definitely has got some wit in his voice. His cynical and detached tone while describing funny situations such as the line “The fever stayed high for a full day, but on the morning of the second day he jumped out of bed and started exercising as if nothing had happened, and his temperature was absolutely normal” makes it even more humorous. Along the elaborate depictions, there are also parts that can be considered “cheesy.” Death exists, not as the opposite but as a part of life. Life is here, death is over there. I am here, not over there. Although the overall mood is quite gloomy and dark, the voice itself goes neither too sentimental nor dramatic; rather, it blends well within the text, and therefore generates positive effects.

             Throughout the story, the most interesting part was the relationship between the characters. Based on the information given until now, Kizuki and Nagasawa seem to be on the parallel line. They both have strong oratory skills -the ability to “inspire people in awe”- which force the narrator to wonder why they “chose” him, “a person with no distinctive qualities, to be [their] friend.” They are both authentic and caring to him, with their “attractive” girlfriends. Despite these similarities, the narrator clearly states that “[his] relationship with Nagasawa stood in stark contrast to [his] relationship with kizuki.” He feels attached to Kizuki’s sincerity because Kizuki shared his “talents” only with the narrator and Naoko. On the other hand, he admits that he “never once opened [his] heart to [Nagasawa]” because Nagasawa uses this “talents” to tempt girls. But I suspect that the clear difference in his perceptions towards them may have been distorted or exaggerated due to the abstract reminiscence of Kizuki. He may unconsciously want to remember Kizuki with his positive sides only. I am curious whether the parallel relationship between the two would be intensified throughout the story.

             Although Naoko seems to be the most important character here (the narrator’s vague yet strong memory of her pushes him to start the flashback in the first place), how she affects the narrator after all is still unclear. I get the complicated feelings involved in their relationship and the consequent atmosphere of the story, but it is hard to express it in a few words. In my point of view now, the narrator’s complex affection for Naoko is not truly towards Naoko as a person but towards “the girl who once was my best friend’s lifelong lover,” whom he cannot -or should not- express his feelings directly when considering Kizuki’s death and the convention of the society. As Georges Bataille argues in his book “Eroticism,” people in general feel more excited about something that they are restricted in doing so. Although not directly stated in the text, the invisible yet present restriction in dating a (dead) friend’s ex-girlfriend may have made him more obsessed with his feelings. I am looking forward to see what further influence Naoko and the narrator’s desire for her will have on him.

             Considering the individual characters and their relations, sex and death are likely to be the recurring themes of the story. The narrator openly discusses his sexual life and puts certain amount of emphasis on it. For a long time, sex has been a rather vulgar topic that is often discussed separately from pure love. It is possible to infer that Murakami wanted to show the inseparable nature of the two concepts. In a similar sense, people do not like to talk about “death,” primarily because they are afraid of it. The narrator, however, states that death is only part of his life. Death is related to his best friend Kizuki; sex is related to Naoko and other possible girls. I get the feeling that I should pay closer attention to these two concepts as the story progresses and try to find out how they are used here for what purpose.


             Overall, I loved the beginning setup of this book. I am so excited to read more, and yes I am being very serious. I want to see the big picture as soon as possible so that I can really discuss this book in depth. J

6/30/2013

The Game



As I type each word, I anxiously stare at everything around me, fearing anything might find my mistake on the keyboard. My eyes are now stuck in the water bottle next to me. Whew, the bottle is not watching me at all.

But that notebook has been on my desk since last month. That girl on the front page seems to be looking at me. I hate those eyes, those blue penetrating eyes on me. Though I try to evade her look, I have no choice but to make eye contact. I wonder if she is the reason I can’t type nothing- I mean anything.

Step, step, step.

The endless wave of stairs approaches me as I face it directly. I must take every single step in a perfect manner. It seems ending but endless. Sisyphus.

Game Rules:
1. Get to the end of the stairs
2. Use your steps evenly

I start with the right foot. First step, second step, third step, and so on. Am I balancing between both feet? Maybe I put more pressure on the 13th step than the other steps. What should I do? Okay, that was my left foot. Now I have to put more pressure on the 20th step so that the overall power I spend for each foot is even.

Wait, is anyone watching me?

Something blue seems to be shimmering in the corner. I try to avoid it. I firmly put my steps towards the 20th step, balancing my power on the feet.

Finally! I have just typed another word. Is it the right word for the context? Does this word properly represent twenty different words that I have intended?

I erase the word. I go down the stairs again. But what if that girl on the note saw me erasing the word? I can clearly see the blue light at the end of the stairs.

I re-type the same word. I go up to the 20th step of the stairs again. But I don’t think this is the right word there. Am I allowed to erase it again? I have already come down and gone up once. I look around, find no one watching me, and go downstairs. But the eyes!

If it were not for those blue eyes, I would finish everything quickly and completely. I should burn them someday.

Now, I can’t.


I’m not done with the game yet.

4/14/2013

[World Lit.]5th Reading Journal: The Handsomest Drowned Man in the World & A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings


           

              Two short stories written by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, “The Handsomest Drowned Man in the World” and “A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings,” both bear qualities of magic realism, in which magical elements are permeated into reality as though normal. The “handsomest” drowned man himself is magic to the small village in the first story, and so is the old man with “enormous” wings in the latter. In each story, people’s attitude towards the magic runs counter to one another: whereas the drowned man is extolled by the villagers, the old man with wings gets ostracized soon. On the surface, it may seem like the attitudes of people towards magic in the stories differ from each other, but frankly they are representing and satirizing the same quality of human beings: how people tend to follow the ostensible aspects of the world, and how easily they get influenced by those factors.
        
             In “The Handsomest Drowned Man in the World,” Marquez mockingly portrays the process in which people in the village eulogize the dead body just by looking at his external features. As soon as the women see the body, they all agree that he must have been a guy called Esteban. They feel satisfied to know that he does not belong to any other villages, and sigh, “Praise the Lord. He’s ours!” Even the men, who at first think “the fuss was only womanish frivolity,” recognize that “it is not necessary to repeat” that “he was Esteban,” when the dead man’s face is revealed under the handkerchief. After the holy funeral of the man, in which the women linger over trivial decoration because they don’t want to let go of him, the villagers know that “everything will be different from then on” because they will make Esteban’s memorial spread anywhere. 


Most of the analysis that I could find online argue that this story shows how the village gets “inspired” and “positively influenced” by the existence of Esteban. But, I completely disagree with this cliché explanation. I doubt that Marquez tried to depict that Esteban, the magically enormous dead body, had a positive impact on people. Rather, I contend that the whole story was a satirical mockery of people’s pursuit of ostensible values in life. That the villagers begin to praise the drowned body for its physical qualities (plus their mythical belief and imagination purposefully projected on him) shows how they only value external aspects; that they claim their lives’ being changed after meeting Esteban portrays how easily people can get affected and change their overall perspective on life.


On the similar road, Marquez further criticizes the pretentious lives of people in “A Very Old Man with Enormous Wings,” through the depiction of their changing minds depending on the ostensible qualities of matter. At first the townspeople including Pelayo and Elisenda pay much attention to the so-called angel, for he has interesting physical features and is said to cure people suffering with strange diseases. By selling the tickets for meeting the old man, Pelayo and Elisenda earn a lot of money. Consequently, the old man with wings becomes nothing more than an animal in a circus show. People soon pay much more attention to a “frightful tarantula the size of a ram and with the head of a sad maiden” because she has more interesting stories to tell and responses better. They treat the old man and the spider woman not as other human beings, but as different kinds of entertainment; they are not interested in what kind of "people" the man and the woman are, but how much they can get them interested. That the townspeople change their interest with so much frivolity, depending only on the external features shows people’s capricious beliefs and how they lack the ability to look at people beyond the outlook. 


Even Father Gonzaga and the Catholic Church are only focusing on whether the old man can speak Aramaic, the language of Jesus. Despite the common expectations on church to be leading ordinary people to a higher place in terms of mental complication, the church described in the story is only pursuing superficiality. Like the portrayal of Catholic Church in “Araby” by James Joyce, church in the story only maintains empty formalities and vanity. It not only seeks those pretentious values, but also greatly influences people with its absolute power of religion. Marquez mocks the reality of church in his times, which only bore conservative authority rather than practical aids.

Throughout both stories of magic realism, Marquez tries to deride people’s behavior in which they don’t understand the greater significance of life, but just stay with myopic vision of the world, following what they can get through their senses and getting strong influences from superficial aspects of life. 

735 words

3/26/2013

[World Lit.] 4th Reading Journal: The Dead




             For this particular short story, The Dead, I found it difficult to just stick to one point without involving other parts and themes. In order to clearly connect different sides of the story that were somewhat intertwined with one another, I tried to elaborate the analysis in a “planned stream-of-consciousness” style. Although some parts do not necessarily seem to be explaining the same matter, I believe that they are all heading towards the same goal at the end, in the right order. From style, through character relations, epiphany, and to snow, there is a subtle, yet significant connection among them that eventually leads people to the understanding of the message in The Dead.

             James Joyce’s writing style seems to have strengthened the message conveyed through the story. The most prominent style found in the text is free indirect discourse, which involves both a character’s speech and the narrator’s comments or presentation. It makes indistinguishable the thoughts of the narrator and those of a character. In The Dead, Joyce’s voice resonates with the characters’ voices. Because the voices all differ from one another in terms of people’s characteristics, this technique enables the author to hide his existence in the story by making the lines sound as if they were said by the speakers themselves, and thus helps readers to concentrate in/sympathize with the unique characters.

For instance, the first sentence, “Lily was literally run off her feet,” creates awkwardness due to the use of the word “literally.” Lily cannot possibly be run off her feet “literally,” but “figuratively.” The word "literally" is a solecism that the uneducated housemaid Lily might mistakenly use instead of "absolutely". Moreover, the third sentence of the story, "It was well for her she had not to attend to the ladies also", similarly adopts the manner of speech regarding how Lily's social status would use: "well for her." On the other hand, the lines, "Gabriel could not listen while Mary Jane was playing her Academy piece, full of runs and difficult passages, to the hushed drawing room,” and “he liked music but the piece she was playing had no melody for him and he doubted whether it had any melody for the other listeners, though they had begged Mary Jane to play something" bear rather refined structures and diction, revealing the high-quality education that Gabriel probably would have received.

As it can be expressed and understood effectively through the free indirect speeches, Gabriel is seemingly an intelligent guy who is welcomed by the aunts as their “favorite nephew.” Yet, he lacks sensitivity and has a very restrictive personality. Although he considers the party as a somewhat cold and oppressing routine, he is actually the one who has overly restrained personality. With his restrictions on himself, he is disconnected from the people around him; at the dinner table, Gabriel "set to his supper and took no part in the conversation." That "Gabriel hardly heard what she said" adds even more. Since he is a relative of the musical Morkan aunts and has married to the deeply passionate Gretta, it is inferred that Gabriel might have once lived a harmonious life along with the world around him. Now, however, he seems to have buried his emotions underneath a snow-like blanket of propriety prevalent in the society.

Throughout the story, his refined, yet insensitive and controlled personality brings him troubles with two different ladies at the party. Lily becomes incensed when Gabriel inoffensively suggests that “[they’ll] be going to [her] wedding one of these fine days with [her] young man.” As she replies “with great bitterness,” he gets shocked and takes it as a challenge of his confidence. That Gabriel tries to handle this situation by “[taking] a coin rapidly from his pocket” shows his shortage of sensitivity and his belief that he can cover up things with materialistic attitude. Then, while dancing, he encounters another woman called Molly Ivors, his former alum, who is a loyal supporter of their country Ireland. After continuously being asked about his interest in Ireland, Gabriel suddenly conveys that he is sick of his country (Gabriel is probably a representation of James Joyce himself). When Miss Ivors rebukes him for his lack of patriotism, he begins to struggle with the idea of freedom and embracing himself or the culture. These two women give him a mental disturbance in his restricted mind.

The lady who absolutely contradicts Gabriel in personality is, however, not anyone else but his own wife Gretta. Unlike Gabriel, who is restricting himself within the underlying rules, Gretta has a remarkably free spirit; “she’d walk home in the snow if she were let.” She is not glad about how Gabriel recommends her to “put on her galoshes whenever it’s wet underfoot.” Gabriel feels confused when this seemingly strong woman gets melancholy when she hears Mr. D’Arcy singing The Lass of Aughrim. On the way back home, wondering why she seems so nostalgic and sentimental, Gabriel tries to set a rather romantic atmosphere, but fails. Hearing about the true reason why Gretta feels melancholy, Gabriel becomes highly uncomfortable and irritated at first. After Gretta falls asleep, he stares at the room window and thinks about his wife, Michael Furey, and himself. While listening to the snow hitting the window, however, he suddenly realizes what he means to his wife and the complicated relationship between the existences of our beings: the moment of epiphany. He is alive but dead in Gretta’s heart; Michael Furey is dead but alive in her heart. The coexistence of death and life, and the ambiguity of the line between them strikes Gabriel’s mind.

In terms of compatibility of death and life, snow is a strikingly accurate representation (and an extended metaphor) of the whole epiphany. During winter, snow suffocates life from vegetation, representing death of life forms. When spring returns, however, snow is the source that has aided the cycle of life and given a chance for new growth. This coexistence of the directly opposite concepts, death and rebirth, is the fundamental realization that Gabriel goes through while staring at the snow. This concept of snow has appeared several times in different classics. In Iliad, Homer epitomizes how snow covers all the mountains and stops winds in the middle of a bloody war. The Trojan War is now happening silently among the “sensitively dead” people in Ireland; Zeus pours snow down to people in order to show the “self-arrow,” which in this case, can be the epiphany that Gabriel has. Furthermore, as snow is something that falls to the “coexisting” and “complete” “now and then,” in St. Thomas Aquinas’ Summa Theologica, snow in The Dead is both a coffin for the paralyzed, “dead,” Irish people, and an overcoat for the alive, relieving the whole universe and making everyone’s life new.

After finishing the story, I could think of my own moment of epiphany in my short life.

Expecting a successful, cliché performance that frequently came out in famous college essays, I confidently stepped into the stage. As I was waiting for beginning sign from Juny, the drummer, my heart beat like an unrestrained drum. My fingers on the keyboard, too, waited eagerly to produce perfect music.
             “Tick, tick, tick”
First with David’s leading guitar melody, the song seemed to be flowing mellifluously. Actually, it did go well, very well, until I started to miss beats for some reason. I played as I practiced before, but strangely it did not fit within others’ sounds. Without any other choice, I kept playing in my own way, not listening to other instruments.
Despite my earnest wish, not only my band members but also the whole crowd soon noticed my failing rhythm. For the next three minutes or so, I was trapped in the state of oh-my-gosh-what-should-I-do-now mood, with my fingers still playing my own rhythm. I could hear some hiss from the crowd. The more I tried to catch the right flow, the more awkward our melody became.
And this disastrous failure was my first performance for FITM, the school rock band.
Right after I went downstage, I still did not know why I was making a cacophony for the entire song though I practiced hard. Hearing my band members crying, however, I realized what the real problem was. All the past memories passed like a long panorama.
I had played piano since I was six years old, and for almost twelve years. For this reason, I was confident to be selected as the keyboardist of FITM, a school rock band in KMLA. Yet I didn’t realize that there would be some difference playing piano alone and playing keyboard in a band.
Becoming part of a band, however, was a completely different job, in which my sound had to flow with other sounds to make a perfect harmony. I often missed rhythms while practicing, but I was not cautious enough to catch the significance of playing together, fitting into the same rhythm. I never even gave a try to listen to other people’s sound; I was just busy making my own sound heard most loudly in the song; I did not recognize how even one offbeat was enough to ruin the whole song as a cacophony. Among all, the biggest mistake was that I was not conscious of what a “band” meant.
Thanks to that huge disaster, I could eventually answer why I wanted to play in a band, not alone; it was that I wanted to make a harmony with others, not that I wanted to hear my sound only. As soon as I realized that, I stopped playing keyboard and started listening to the sounds that other instruments were making, literally trying to “feel in the music.” Paying attention to the subtle difference in rhythm enabled me to find the right place for my sounds to join the other sounds. Concentrating for several times, I could eventually fit into the harmonious rhythm and create melodious songs.
As I paid triple attention to the “harmony” while practicing, the second performance we had at the Christmas party was successful enough to make me cry after finishing it. Surprisingly, I could find every other member crying with me, this time crying for a different reason. We were happy to figure out that all of us, including me, were trying to achieve the same thing: listening to each other’s sound. The cry I heard after the failing performance helped me to not only feel in the music, but feel in each other. This experience had a great influence on my perspective of interacting with everything around me.

With his particular style and techniques, James Joyce conveys his impression of Ireland, especially Dublin, as the heart of paralysis, where people are alive but dead, and dead but alive. The concept of compatibility of death and rebirth is expressed through the protagonist’s unique personality along with the bizarre situations that he experiences, and the extended metaphor of snow. Reading the last line this story itself was also an epiphany for me. Thanks to James Joyce (& Mr. Garrioch), I had a chance to recall a significant moment in my life. This remembrance not only gave me an idea of what I learned before, but also reminded me to always keep that lesson I got from the epiphany moment, even in the future.

3/05/2013

[World Lit.] 3rd Reading Journal (Paragraph)





From a distance, James Joyce’s “Araby” might appear to be a realistic piece of writing that depicts maturation of an adolescent. After all, when the nameless narrator describes the setting for Dublin and Araby in detail, it seems to be even more realistic. However, on the other hand, the remarkable similarity between the visual descriptions of the two places delivers a more sophisticated message. They both portray devastatingly dark atmosphere due to the loss of faith in religion. In Dublin, North Richmond Street is “blind,” the houses stare at each other with “brown imperturbable faces,” the priest is dead, and the inhabitants are spiritually in decay. When the narrator arrives at Araby, the bazaar is not the kind of place that he has expected; two guys and a shopkeeper are flirting, and the narrator compares it to “church after the service ends,” being empty and maintaining the superficial quality without any faithful devotee. Christianity seems to be nothing holy anymore. This whole dark, insincere atmosphere not only disturbs the protagonist from the beginning, but also puts him down again at the end. James Joyce reproaches how the lack of faith in the town has “paralyzed” a young boy in his adolescence and eventually discourages him forever. Therefore, it is perhaps more accurate to assume that “Araby” has a strong quality of modernism in that it mocks the gloomy, hopeless reality and denies pretentious Christianity. In this sense, the girl in the story might be symbolizing the “light” and “hope” itself, rather than a real person that seems to be holy. The protagonist tries to protect that sacred belief he has towards that hope by achieving a quest to Araby, which at first seems to be “enchanted,” but even that place is so adulterated by impiety and hypocrisy that it actually daunts him even more. The overall story, thus, can be considered as a firm censure of the dreary reality that only bears superficiality of religion, but lacks true faith.

2/24/2013

[World Lit.] 2nd Reading Journal: The lens: how we look at and define love.







            For I have been raised and educated in the society where certain perspective towards certain “types of love,” if there were such things, is prevalent, I also had a limited view in terms of understanding love. According to the dominant point of view in the community that I belong to, only one kind of love has been accepted as “normal”: love between a male and female who are in similar age and from similar social class. Other kinds of love, including adultery and “Lolita Complex,” have been interpreted as sins of humankind. Frankly, I have to admit that I have also been trapped in that specific, circumscribed line of looking at things. Though I’m still not so sure how I should perceive “love,” reading Lady with the Dog by Anton Chekov provided me a chance to at least think about it in several different ways.




             When I read Lady with the Dog for the first time, my thoughts were automatically swayed to criticize the characters and their “inappropriate” love out of marriage. This inclination was probably rooted from the perspective that I already possessed, which must have been strongly influenced by the society. But while I was trying to reproach the how bad “adultery” was and how lascivious Dimitri’s desire was, there was something in my heart that made me very uncomfortable. Whereas my brain was saying I could never condone adultery as something justifiable, my heart was telling me that I was actually touched by love between Dimitri and Anna, that it did move my feelings to raise a question. Is adultery really a sin?



             Seventh, you shall not commit adultery. –The Ten Commandments in Bible. Looking back on history, people have been undeniably harsh on people who have committed adultery. The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne is a famous piece of literature widely known for its revelation of the unfair treatment of a woman who betrayed her husband. Hester Prynne in the novel must wear a scarlet A on her dress as a sign of shame, and stand on the scaffold for three hours, exposed to public humiliation. Korean history is no exception for the overly bitter punishment on adultery. Any female who was accused of cheating on her husband had to be carved with the letter (meaning lustful) on her chest and live in prison for the rest of her life.





There is no doubt why people defined adultery as something not only undesirable but also unacceptable in the society. Sharing love with people other than your original partner makes him or her feel bad, lose faith and eventually break the family unit. (plus women had to be more sincere than men at the time) I don’t believe there is anyone who would feel contented while his or her partner loves another person. The one who commits adultery is irresponsible in terms of keeping his family and the previous love, etc. But, just because the decision made by that person is immoral, does that make the act of love itself tamed? Love is often said to be the most sacred feeling that mankind can ever experience. I don’t think anyone has right to degrade the pure love whatsoever the situation is.




             Another point in Lady with the Dog that drew my attention was that Dimitri, with gray hair, was portrayed to be way older than Anna. Age difference is one of the factors that public eyes do not take nicely. In many people’s points of view, especially in those of Koreans, love between an old man and a young girl is possibly the most “dirty” kind of love that can ever be found. Even couples with 15 years of age difference are considered as libidinous beings that are blind to lust. Somehow people don’t want to accept the love between older and younger people to be innocent and pure. The word "Lolita" has been understood to mean more of a child pornography or novels, rather than the feeling of love itself. This is why “Lolita” is one of the forbidden words for teenagers in Korean search engines. It is sad how people interpret love only in terms of desire for sexual relationship.

             Apart from the “The Lolita (which I have not yet watched),” a Korean movie called “The Muse” was also controversial whether it should be understood as an “appropriate” form of love. This “x-rated” movie depicted an old poet’s attraction towards a young high school girl. Although the original purpose of the movie was to portray the poet’s desire for the “youngness” that the girl possessed, something he had lost several years ago, critics were busy to castigate how dirty that feeling could be in real life. Without a single sex scene, this movie was rated mature for its “dangerous” idea, how the old man dares to love the girl. (It was not a sexual desire that he had towards the girl, but a combination of mixed feelings.)






The consequences that it might cause are to be judged apart from the feeling of love. Though many of those who cheat on their partners were capricious with their feelings, this does not mean everyone committing adultery is insincere in love. Though there had been several rape cases in which old men forcefully had a sexual intercourse with young girls, this should not generalize all love between people with big age difference as to contain extreme lust. (People should just stop watching child pornography which would automatically lead them to imagine that kind of relationship in every single situation.) Whether the feeling includes any bit of insincerity and sexual desire or not, love itself should be respected and considered as it is. There is no such thing as pure love and dirty love; it is not simple like that.




             Even after expanding my thoughts and linking the novella with other examples, I am still not assured enough to decide how I would look at different kinds of love present in the society. But there is one thing I can state for sure: the moment of feeling “love” is always pure and sacred in whatsoever different situations. Reading Lady with the Dog gave me an opportunity to cast a doubt on the dominant perspective and actually try to think of other ways. I would probably need more personal experience to set my own point of view towards love. J

2/20/2013

[World Lit.] Short comment on "The lady with the dog"



Everyone has desire to feel beloved and cared by others. For that, Dimitri seemed to be a very phony, yet normal male character that can be seen fairly often in any community. He condescends women but also wants to be with them at the same time. No offense at all, but I wonder if this quality is something common among males. I find males in the controversial online community, which I wouldn't mention the name, show very similar behavioral pattern: they want to belittle women as to be lower than men, but they brag about how many girls they have met, slept with, etc. Well, this seems to be quite understandable. I can somewhat get the feeling they would have, but am still confused to explain why. Is this something that was earned through lack of care and attention, or just a natural quality among people? What's the cause that leads people to behave this way?

I was also not determined enough to "interpret" the love between Dimitri and Anna. (It's more like I dared not to, though.) What’s the difference between this story and the so-called dirty affair? Isn’t it just a difference between perspectives? I don't think we can really judge either way. I once read this book, actually a long set of essays, called “Shiver” written by 10 most famous and respected poets in Korea. (Their poems were usually very romantic, seemed to describe sacred love.) In that book, most of the essays beautified the so-called affair-ish meetings. While reading the essays, the real experiences, I was so into it that I almost felt as if I were in the story. I was literally overwhelmed and touched by the sincere and sweet nature of love between them. But to look at them with critical eyes, all the characters were already married, sometimes it included “affairs” between people who were in a family relationship, teacher-student relationship, with big age difference, etc. The social norms present in the society would never accept them as to be sincere. I mean, although I could sympathize with the characters and all that, I wouldn't still want my future husbands, parents, or whoever to be involved in that kind of relationship, whatsoever the hidden stories would be. I don’t think the couple described in this novella is necessarily more “sincere” than other couples in that sort of relationship. Dimitri’s attraction towards the innocence of that woman: is that the source of beauty in this story? Don’t’ you think many of those who have an affair with younger people would also feel this way, that they are going through the true romance in their lives? So why do we criticize them, but not necessarily Dimitri and Anna? Do we even have rights to judge what’s more moral and what not?

I want to share some opinions on these issues with other people.

[Free Write] "The Sacred Moment"



           Because I could confidently state that I trusted people, especially those who were close to me, I expected them to be sincere all the time: one naïve belief before I entered KMLA. Probably as one natural step of growing up, I began to notice all the duplicity of people around me while living here for almost two years. The greater I became aware of other people’s discrepancy between their words and behavior, the harder I tried not to be like them.
             It was last September when I suddenly realized that I was becoming part of this KMLA family, in a bad sense. I was turning into a hypocrite acting like those whom I always looked down for being insincere. Sitting alone in the dark cafeteria, all the things I had done wrong passed me like a panorama. I sometimes talked back on my best friends while always smiling nicely in front of them. I sometimes pretended as if I did not know some important information for classes because I did not want my friends to be better than me. I sometimes soothed my friends crying for low grades while I felt rather relieved inside. I sometimes celebrated my friends’ prizes while being jealous of them. I couldn’t accept all the pretentious jobs I had committed, the times I deceived my friends and myself with my phony words.
             Perhaps, I just did not want to admit it, though I already knew that I had been acting that way; perhaps, that was why I reproached my friends for being phonies, justifying my own duplicity with superficial comfort. But frankly, I was a phony myself. For whatever reason I turned to be a hypocrite, or had originally been that way, I couldn’t let myself living like a charlatan as long as I realized my insincerity. Crying for several hours, I was so despondent that I couldn’t do anything. I felt like all my 18 years of “sincere life” had disappeared and I was a completely different person, apparently whom I never wanted to be. Without telling my friends, or anyone, “the truth”, I thought I could never be able to live as cheerfully as before.
             Despite all the embarrassment in doing so, I told three of my closest friends all the “insincere” memories I could remember. They didn’t say anything, but listened to me with all their eyes staring at me. After two hours of long conversation full of burning shames, they all gave me a big hug with tears. I waited them to reply, expecting some “No, you’re not a bad girl” or “Try not to repeat those things next time” in silence. In contrast to my anticipation, however, they said “That is natural. That’s how everyone lives. We’re all human beings. We can’t be as perfect as Jesus or anything.” Then each one of them told me her story, her confession of the things she committed insincerely. All the stories were almost identical (and identically embarrassing to tell).
             My friends consoled me not by saying some typical encouragement, but by helping me acknowledge that we were all the same and that I was nothing weird. They shared their own experience of being phonies, telling me not to be overly strict on my moral standards but to consider the natural insufficiency of humans, including myself. I was literally overwhelmed. I thanked the world for letting me have friends who were ready to disclose their most shameful stories to assuage their disheartened friend. I thanked my decision to talk to my friends with all my heart; or I might have lost all my faith forever.
             After this “sacred” moment of my life, I changed my view of looking at things. I still love people and believe in them, but in a different way. I realized that my previous belief in human was not a true love in mankind, but rather a forceful pressure for everyone to become sincere all the time. That false trust was what made me suspect other people and hate myself. I decided to love people the way they are, and live my life as sincerely as possible but not with too much discipline on every single aspect because “we’re all humans.”
Special thanks to Minjung Kang, Gyeongmin Lee, Eunji Lee, and Yoonju Chung, who have always been next to me in whatsoever situation

2/12/2013

[World Lit.] Ivan the student, and Vasilisa the Azumma


Jane Park
Mr. Garrioch
1st Reading Journal on “The Student” 




             The first time reading “The Student” by Anton Chekhov was frankly a frustration for me. I couldn’t easily overcome my ignorance in literature to interpret the story as to be a truly realistic piece or not. The setting and the characters seemed to be realistic, but the essence of its message seemed rather romantic. When I read it several more times without the pressure to analyze in detail, I could eventually get to the tip of its core. “The Student” by Anton Chekhov is neither perfectly realistic nor romantic; it is more likely to be on the verge of realism and sensationalism. There is, however, more about the story itself apart from the issue of realism. I believe literature, regardless of any genre, has to tell the "truth" about reality.


             According to The American Novel and Its Tradition by Richard Chase, realistic literature (1) renders reality closely and in comprehensive detail, (2) is a selective presentation of reality with an emphasis on verisimilitude, even at the expense of a well-made plot, (3) has its character more important than action and plot, where complex ethical choices are often the subject, and (4) makes the characters appear in their real complexity of temperament and motive, in which they are in explicable relation to nature, to each other, to their social class, to their own past. In this sense, “The Student” is a perfect piece of literature that embodies realistic characteristics.

This story depicts the environment with great amount of details: “Needles of ice stretched across the pools, and it felt cheerless, remote, and lonely in the forest”; “A camp fire was burning with a crackling sound, throwing out light far around on the ploughed earth.” It also focuses on the development of characters rather than the plot itself, in which they are likely to exist in real life. Ivan Velikopolsky, the main character, resembles a common student who is concerned about both zeitgeist and his life. Both Vasilisa and her daughter Lukerya are as well likely characters in reality: Vasilisa is epitomized as “a tall, fat widow”; Lukerya as “a little pock-marked woman with a stupid looking face.” Although the inner part of this metafiction, in which Ivan tells an episode in Bible, is rather romantic, the overall story focuses more on each character’s development of ideas than on that of the plot.


             On the other hand, there are several aspects of the story that do not fall into the category of realism. Unlike in typical realistic literature where events are usually plausible, avoiding the sensational and dramatic elements, in “The Student,” characters suddenly realize the remorse and the eternal cycle of life. Especially Vasilisa dramatically reacts to Ivan’s story of Peter while listening quietly. She, in a sudden, “[gives] a gulp, and screens her face from the fire with her sleeve as though ashamed of her tears.” In realistic perspective, this abrupt outburst of emotions, in other words catharsis, is not at all considered banal. This extreme, rather romantic, contingency does not seem to be elastically allowed in Realism.

Furthermore, the message of “The Student” vacillates between realism and sentimentalism. In Black and White Strangers, Kenneth Warren suggests that a basic difference between realism and sentimentalism is that in realism, "the redemption of the individual lay within the social world," whereas in sentimental fiction, "the redemption of the social world lay with the individual.” This story, however, does not seem to fit in either category, but rather reside somewhere between the two. To certain extent, the recognition of the “cycle of life” that leads Ivan and Vasilisa to the new lives is tangent to both the real society, in which they have previously been trapped, and themselves as individuals. There seems to be no distinguishable boundary between the two factors. 

People who lead a lonely existence always have something on their minds that they are eager to talk about.
-Anton Checkov
             The most personally intriguing facet of the story was Vasilisa. Whereas the focus of the story is mainly on Ivan and his realizations of life through the time he spends with her, I was strangely more interested in Vasilisa than in Ivan. Although her moment of enlightenment is the most unrealistic part of the story, I can certainly sympathize with her flood of sudden remorse. With the detailed description of the character Vasilisa, it is easy to speculate that she has been living a tough life. “A fat woman in a man’s coat,” Vasilisa has been a woman of experience, first as a wet-nurse, and afterwards as a children’s nurse. She now lives with her daughter who was beaten by her husband. Considering her past and present, something amassed inside her is likely to have made her cry in a sudden.


One uncomfortable fact that I had to admit was that Vasilisa so much resembled the Korean concept of Azumma, who has packed a lot of stories in her heart, without having any opportunity to reach the moment of catharsis. It shows that this certain depiction of woman is present in any kind of society, no matter how distinct the cultures are. In other words, Vasilisa’s whole life can be represented as Han. This Han inside her can be understood as the instigating factor that leads her to react so dramatically to the well-known story of Peter. This is why I thought judging how realistic “The Student” was no longer an issue of great importance for me. The emotional outburst of Vasilisa, whether or not realistic, was the most meaningful part, for it truly portrayed the inner concern, at last completing the whole character. It was not about logic but Han.

Man will become better when you show him what he is like. The more reality they are provided with, the better people will become at understanding it. Reality, in my point of view, is not necessarily the “exact depiction” of the world. It is, however, the essence of that depiction. Only when people seek for something truly true-if such a thing exists-, will they eventually be able to interpret the world clearly.

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