spring, summer, autumn, winter, and spring

In the first place, I still don’t understand why my eyes were filling with tears after watching just a short video clip with not that much of plot in it. I have seen the movie “Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter, and Spring” when I was as young as nine years old or something. All I remember about the experience is that I slept for the whole time. When I got up, my parents were crying so hard and staring at each other with a deep sigh. At that time, of course, that looked so weird. But now, just after seeing less than one fourth of the whole movie, I could at least try to understand why.

I first thought the movie was trying to show how to teach children what is right or wrong when the “master monk” tied the “young monk” to a stone in the same way as the young monk did to fish, a frog, and a snake. However, that wasn’t it. It was not like “oh feel the pain, you need to be treated the same way as you did to understand their pain,” but more like trying to tell the young monk a little bit about human desire, human’s desire to feel Catharsis while others are in pain. It’s not only that “bad” desire, but also human’s ability to sympathize and feel what others feel.

“Untie them. If any of those died, you would have that stone in your mind for your whole life.”

The best scene was where the young boy was crying hard, finding the fish and the snake dead. It is a mystery why it was so sad for me to keep watching it. It was not the pain I got from the death of those animals, but a more fundamental one. I have had a lot of same experiences as the boy did; I used to enjoy stepping on the ants and then putting them in the water to see them dying. I guess the reason I was almost crying was because I had to accept that I also had this bad human desire to do harm on others. One very different thing was that I had no one who could make me feel the sympathy that the boy felt.

I hope to have someone in my life to make me cry, feeling sorry.