Dear my ex-braces :)

Dear my ex-braces

I don’t think I have ever said thank you for you, though I have always been secretly appreciating you in my mind. Considering the fact that I have known my high school friends for a year, you and I have known each other for a fairly long time. Perhaps that’s why I felt like crying when I realized that I had to put “ex-“ in front of your name as a prefix. As all the good-bye letters include, it seems like it’s my responsibility to talk about the first time we have met two years ago. But, first I will tell you how I have often thought of having you as my friend, even before our first meeting.

It all started when I first went to Jefferson Middle School, a small school in the middle of cornfields in Champaign, Illinois. Apart from the fact that all of the students, teachers, and even faculties there were foreigners, noticeably many of them were wearing braces. Well, to be honest, I didn’t even know what that was at that time. As I went to school day by day and made more friends, I could realize how colorful their braces were; and how cool they looked. One of their arguments was that having braces was a trend among “well-living” kids, and that it represented their wealth. But the whole thing that attracted me was when I saw my crush wearing them one day. That was all for me. Since that day, I had begged my parents to get me braces like other kids, well actually like that one kid.

And my dream came true; except that it came a bit too late: after I went back to Korea. Mom told me one day that I would have to get braces because my mouth was as volumetric as a duck’s mouth. Though that was not quite a complement, I was just thankful for that I could eventually get braces! I also thought that I would eat less due to the pain of braces. And that it might help me losing weight. (It didn’t really come true though) Anyhow, this was how I finally got you! I was finally wearing you inside my mouth!!

Although it often hurt a lot to have you tightening my teeth, I could endure quite well because my pride for having you was way bigger than the pain. My Korean friends didn’t understand me being so proud of wearing you, which I didn’t really care. I changed a lot while having you inside me. My closed-mouth smile turned into a big open one; I brushed my teeth five times a day; and I tried to show you out whenever I was taking pictures of myself. Each moment thinking of you made me excited with something, something that I can’t really explain. I wouldn’t say it was only because of my crush back in Champaign; there was something more than that. I will tell you why someday, when I figure out my true feeling underneath that pride.

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Sorry to say this, but, I have got another thing to tell you- not really a good one this time. Though I always tried hard to maintain my pride on you, I couldn’t keep my sincerity after this one big incident. Do you remember the day when I had to take a photo for the KMLA ID card last year? As always, my mouth was widely open while one of the TTL members was taking a picture of me. Suddenly, the photo taker yelled at me to close my mouth. I asked him why and he got angry at me with saying, “Don’t you notice your mouth looks weird with those braces?!” And even for now, that has been one of the most shocking days in my life. I tried hard not to care about what he had said, but it was not quite easy. Since that day, I had felt embarrassed on you; though I never really let you know my feeling.

Shame on me. I realized how precious you were to me too late. And it was already after you left me. The pinches handled by the orthodontist’s right hand were approaching me. They quickly took you away from me. And that was it. Sorry, I’m really sorry. After losing you, I life-experienced the true meaning of saying “You don't know what you've got until you've lost it”. I promise I would never commit this kind of stupid mistake for the rest of my life. Though you’re not next to me anymore, I would think of you whenever looking at my big smile on the mirror, as a precious gift that you gave me.

I really miss you,

Thank you my friend.

Sincerely,

your lifelong friend Jane.