Catcher in the KMLA

Some things are hard to remember. I’m thinking now of when OT got back from her date with Seok. I mean I can’t remember exactly what I was doing when I heard her goddam stupid footsteps coming down the corridor. I probably was still solving the AP Chemistry questions, but I swear I can’t remember. I was so damn worried, that’s why. When I really worry about something, I don’t just fool around. I even have to go to the bathroom when I worry about something. Only, I don’t go; instead I go to Mr. Liu’s office. If you knew OT, you’d have been worried, too. I’d double dated with that bitch a couple of times, and I know what I’m talking about. She seemed to forget which one she was dating exactly. She really did.

Anyway, the doors were all made out of paper or something and all, and you could hear that huge bitch’s goddam footsteps coming right towards the room. I don’t even remember which problem I was solving when she came in- acid-base equilibria, titration or buffer solutions. I swear I can’t remember, even the number of moles of NaOH.

She came in griping about how cold it was out. Then she said, “Where the hell is everybody? It’s like a goddam morgue around here.” I didn’t even bother to answer her. If she was so goddam stupid not to realize it was Saturday night and everybody was out or asleep or home for the week end, I wasn’t going to break my neck telling her. She started getting undressed into her most basic clothes, as usual. She didn’t say one goddam word about Seok. Not one. Neither did I. I just watched her. All she did was thanking me for letting her wear my pink-white gorgeous uniform. She hung it up on a hanger and pit it on the closet as if nothing special had happened.

Then when she was removing her awkward makeup, she asked me if I’d done her homework for Mr. Tame’s English literature class. I told her it was over on her goddam bed. She walked over and read it while she was unbuttoning her corset which didn’t really fit her. She stood there, reading it, and sort of stroking her bare chest and stomach, with this very stupid expression on her face. She was always stroking her stomach or her chest. She was mad about herself.

All of a sudden, she said, “For Chrissake, Synthie. This is about a goddam innocent love.”

“So what?” I said. Trying to be cold as hell.

“Wuddaya mean so what? I told ya it had to be about me. Do you think stupid innocence of love goes with this sexy babe?”

“You said it had to be cool. Whay the hell’s the difference if it’s about innocence or not?”

“God damn it.” She was sore as hell. She was really furious. “You always do everything backasswards.” He looked at me. “No wonder you’re flunking the hell out of here,” she said. “You don’t do one damn thing the way you’re supposed to. I mean it. Not one damn thing.”

“All right, give it back to me, then,” I said. I went over and pulled it right out of her goddam hand. Then I tore it up.

“What the hellja do that for?” she said.

I didn’t even answer him. I just threw the pieces in the wastebasket. Then I lay down on my bed, and we both didn’t say anything for a long time. She god all undressed, down to her panties, and I lay on my bed and start Kakao-talking. You weren’t allowed to play with your cellphone late in the dorm, but you could do it sneakily inside your blanket. Besides, I did it to annoy OT. It drove her crazy when you interact with other friends. She got no friends other than me. It was only me.

She still didn’t say one single solitary word about Seok. So finally I said, “You’re back pretty goddam late if he only signed out for nine-thirty. Did you make him be late signing in?”

She was sitting on the edge of her bed, cutting her goddam toenails, when I asked her that. “Coupla minutes,” she said. “Who the hell signs out for nine-thirty on a Saturday night?” God, how I hated her.

“Did you go to Wonju?” I said.

“Ya crazy? How the hell could we go to Wonju if he only signed out for nine-thirty? We went to Sosa.”

“Cool.”

She looked up at me. “Listen,” she said, “if you’re gonna Kakao-talk on the bed, how ‘bout turning that shitake cell phone off?”

I ignored her. I really did. I went right on texting like a madman. All I did was sort of turn over on my side and watched her cut her damn toenails. What a school. You were always watching somebody cut their damn toenails or squeeze her pimples or something, for chrissake.